I guess that you could say that it is time for me to finally
take that step back into social media. I
think that clicking the “like” button is not doing too much for anyone anymore,
because lets be real no too many people go through the list to see who liked
it, it is usually just the number that draws people’s attention.
To be honest, I have not known what to say. The amount of feelings that race through me
are overwhelming to me. It seems that
every step that I take back into the world that I live in is one step away from
the world that I loved for 18 months, and a world that I had to leave, but that
I did not want to leave behind!
The last 18 months of my life taught me so much. I learned to love! I learned to embrace change, and
awkward. I learned that humility is not
the absence of confidence, but rather the excess of confidence in God. I learned that charity truly is the pure love
of Christ. I just started to understand
and see the plan of God and what it means.
I got to watch people as they learned, understood, and embraced their potential. I watched as we all got tried, testing, and
pushed to the max. I also experienced the
love joy, and happiness that came with all of those who embraced the truth. I saw change, and I changed.
In reality, there is so
much to say and so few words that bear the meaning significant enough to say
it. Despite the words of so many English
teachers, there really are no words to express how I feel.
“Are you adjusting?” “How
are you feeling?” “What was it like?”
These are all questions that seem to be repeated and found often in the
everyday conversations that I have. To
the “What was it like?” There are not
words to express my feelings toward my mission.
Amazing! Humbling! Incredible!
Spiritual! Full of miracles! Faith building! Faith testing! Learning!
All are words that have nowhere near enough impact to explain how I
feel. Each word has so much behind it,
so many stories and feelings that I cannot express in all the words I know, in
either language. I think that it is
better explained by the way that I feel, and those feelings can only be backed
up by the amount of love that I truly have for these incredible people. I miss them and love them all so much!
As for the questions, “are you adjusting?” and “how are you
feeling?” The truth is no! No, I am not adjusting! I miss these people and my Kentucky life more
than I can express. I miss the amazing people that I got to know. I miss their faith! I miss their conviction! I miss their ability to change! I miss their insight, their love, and their
knowledge! I miss their kindness! I miss getting to see them, as small as it
may have been, a little how God saw them.
I miss focusing every minute of every day attempting to help them see
their potential and then trying to provide them with the tools to do so. I miss calling upon God for the well-being of
their souls. I miss having noticing his
hand in every second of my life, every single day. I miss being so aware of my Heavenly Father
and of His son Jesus Christ. I miss
seeing the world through clearer eyes. I
miss the green trees and blue rivers, and dare I say it, I miss the cockroaches. I miss the awkward that I embraced. I miss the bike riding, and the helmets. I miss the daily self-evaluations, and the
long conversations that I had with God every night as I would fall asleep. I guess that it is safe to say, that it is
not the same here and now!
So am I adjusting?
NO! The answer is a huge big fat
no! And I want it that way! This life was not meant to be experienced
just to go back to the way things were. I
have learned too much for that. God has so much more in mind for us than
that. He has so much more planned for
us, and so much more waiting on the other side.
He sent His Son to break that chains that held us back, to hold our hands
through the light times, to guide us through the dark times, and to carry us
through the times that we can’t go anymore.
It is hard changing!
Now, my focus is to help people through my education. I have to study, and remember that I am here
to learn, not to get a grade. I have to
remember that a person is worth more than a grade. I have to remember that my scriptures carry
more weight in the eternal scheme of things than my DNA text.
However, different it may be, the purpose is still the same,
find truth, hold on to truth, and use the truth that you receive to build
others up, bring them to Christ, and keep moving forward. The purpose is to progress and to help others
continue to progress. The purpose is to
become more kind, more thoughtful, more intelligent, and more the person that I
need to be in the sight of God. Although,
it can be hard to remember those motives, and to remember the why behind it all
that is what brings true happiness. Happiness
that is surpassed by the happiness promised by books, that Pinterest post, facebook,
or that ad on the brownie box.
So am I adjusting to the life that I left behind? No! Am
I changing back, and getting used to the ways things used to be? No!
And I never ever will, and I pray that I will never ever go back! The girl that was here 19 months ago, should
be long gone! The girl that read Kentucky
Louisville on a special piece of paper is not the same. However, Heather Gamett is still here. She has just changed, and as hard as it is,
she knows that she still has to change.
There is so much still to learn. Although,
I had to leave that wonderful place and those wonderful people to continue on,
I know that I need to keep going. I can
always continue on! That is the beauty
of the gospel. That is the beauty God’s
plan! !
"Heavenly Father offers to you the greatest gift of all—eternal life—and the opportunity and infinite blessing of your own “happily ever after.”-Dieter F. Uchtdorf
